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Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Of Pelicans, Horses and Egrets

It is finally cool and sunny, as early May should be. Our river and its many little islands and sand bars are full of pelicans and egrets. A horse broke loose this morning and was galloping down a main avenue of our metro area. I saw the same thing happen on a trip to Galena many years ago, where a group of five or so horses jumped the fence at their horse farm. They were running in formation down the country highways, amid the hills and green farms. No Olympic marathoner had it over them! A brown and white beauty, leading the herd, paused and turned to look at the other horses as if to say, "Are you coming?" These days, my interests lie in scattering seeds and planting flowers, especially black ones, in all varieties. So far, we have Black Velvet and Phantom petunias, William Guiness Columbine, and holly hocks. There are more of other colors bursting forth, and a black trick or treat pansy I hope to reseed. We have other colors from seed and cuttings, and always, a few surprises. This is proving to be a difficult spring, but one I try to appreciate. I have been recycling paper, which is a good thing at the rate I have to use it, and mulching whenever I can to preven erosion on my slope. I don't have much free time, but I try to spend what I have sitting outside, writing, or planting. I like to create miniatture terrarium vignets and gardens, and I have a gnome village at the base of an oak tree. There are many garden ornaments hiding among leaves and old trees. I'm never quite finished with this aspect of gardening, and it carries over into Halloween and fall decorating. Tonight, I hope to go walking again. We have monarchs in the yard again; they always make me happy and remind me of my pet caterpillars and days in field biology. We even had a magnificen black and yellow spider one year, and dozens of grasshoppers, even a turtle once. All these were mere guests, and given their freedom after a few hospital hours with water, incomfortable accomodations with lots of air holes and favorite foods. I asked my husband to make me a small pond, just something for water lilies. I loved water as a child, and now I'm going back to it. My large cast iron mermaid is a testament to his love. Find something you love, and ignore the naysayers. I find this gets me beyond the difficult times, though I don't believe in closure. Where grief and disappointment, but especially grief are concerned, there is no closure, only acceptance. We make room for them as permanent guests in our houses, and we learn to set a place for them at our table. Years ago, after the death of one of my grandparents, I was crying, and I asked my mother what the three of us, she, dad, and I, would do, if something happened to one of us. "Why," she said, "we'll just go on." I'm trying, Mamma.

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