Pasta Libido Putanesca

Yes, this is a real recipe. I came up with it after having dinner at my in-laws for my husband's birthday. He got a card that started "You know you're getting old if..." and one of the answers was "You think libido is a kind of pasta." So, I came up with the recipe below. I hope you like it! My 80+ something in-laws and their friends got a big kick out of this! Pasta Libido Putanesca

One pound fusilli or other very kinky, curly pasta ¼ c shrimp, boiled pink and saucy ¼ c very fresh naked [shucked} oysters ¼ cup green olives with a raving red, spicy pimiento center, Spanish are the sultriest ¼ cup passionately black olives, pitted ¼ c mushrooms, the more magic the better, but any type will work, bottled up, with great need to be released, or canned. 4 oz. marinated artichoke hearts, because your heart will soon be choked up ¼ c Virgin olive oil [but not for long!] ¼ cup tender lobster meat ¼ cup firm, very ripe, blushingly red cherry tomatoes, thinly sliced ½ c Red, Red wine, the kind that goes to you head quickly and makes you swoon Capers, either the kind you cook with, or the kind you will have after you eat this dish One copy of A.N. Roquelaire’s The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty [To browse while the pasta simmers in its own juices]. One good biography of Casanova [To read with dessert} Sauté the tomatoes, artichokes, and mushrooms. and olives in extra Virgin Olive Oil. Spice up with ½ tsp. oregano, another tsp. basil, lovingly drizzle to taste with salt and pepper. Add a naughty dash of coriander or fresh cilantro. Add the red wine. Let simmer about 6 minutes on low heat [we’ll definitely turn it up later!] add the Olives and the drained seafood, which has been patted dry, very slowly and gently. Let it all simmer and bubble, but don’t let it boil over [don’t you boil over either!—not yet!] Meanwhile, cook pasta to slight al dente in a pasta pot; drop into boiling water. Drop sparkling shower of Olive Oil into the water. Don’t overdo the pasta! When all has reached its peak, drain the pasta, add to pan with other ingredients, and stir. Then, pour into a pasta bowl, gently toss, sprinkle with cheese and fresh ground pepper. Salt to taste. Serve with liberal glasses of good red wine and warm Italian bread. Serve with a salad of tender greens and Green Goddess. Between courses, recite Elizabeth Barrett Browning by candlelight. Serve on china plates representing Nude Greek and Roman gods and goddesses. Use heart shaped napkins and placemats. Play Johnny Mathis for mood music in the background. For dessert, we recommend Godiva Chocolates, Courvoisier Brandy, and Death by Chocolate soufflé. Julia Child has a good recipe. During dessert, peruse the Divine Marquis’ Philosophy in the Bedroom.

What happens at dinner stays at dinner.